ELIZABETH HOLMES' NEW STARTUP DEVELOPING PILL THAT CURES ALL CANCERS

The Malingerer - Investors are pouring millions into a new startup that aims to cure all cancers with a single pill. The company, called Panacea, was founded by Elizabeth Holmes, the former CEO of Theranos. Current investors include a who's who of former government officials and big corporate CEOs.

Panacea is developing a single pill that can cure any cancer when taken once daily for 30 days. The pill also has no side effects, which makes it unlike any other cancer treatment.

Getting in on the ground floor of the red hot company was too much to pass up for Tyler Harris, a hedge fund manager who has invested millions. "I mean, look at how we treat cancer," he said. "We cut people open and remove their organs, we give them toxic chemotherapy that makes them sick, we destroy their immune systems and infuse cells that can attack them - we even burn them with radiation, for Christ's sake! What if we could end all of this madness by treating everyone with a single pill that has no side effects? It's brilliant! Sometimes it takes a visionary like Elizabeth Holmes to come along and make us realize that the simplest solutions are sometimes the best."

Even though pharmaceutical companies that have been around for centuries have never considered such a treatment, investors remain undeterred. "Pasteur, Curie, Jenner, DeBakey, and now Holmes," Tyler said. "These are the names that transformed medicine."